The majority of women would say that they have struggled with “Confidence Issues” – at least in various stages of their lives.
Have you ever found yourself second-guessing a decision, overthinking something you did, getting self conscious in front of people, or feeling deeply insecure?!
This lack of confidence is shown through your body language and choice of words.
If you want to start working on building your confidence, your vocabulary is a great place to start!
Below are 15 statements that scream lack of confidence.
1.) “You Know What I Mean?”
Do you sometimes find yourself following your sentences with the phrases, “You know what I mean?” or “You feel me?”
These phrases SCREAM lack of confidence!
They make you look insecure because they insinuate that you are constantly looking for other’s approval of what you just said.
The person you are talking to WILL notice this bad habit because it is very obvious.
You don’t need their approval to state your point!
2.) “Uhhh, Ummm, Like”
If you said these words a lot during your teenage years, they can be really hard to shake once you enter adulthood!
If you aren’t sure whether you still say them or not, record yourself! You will be SHOCKED at how many times you may actually say these words!
A few ways to get rid of these annoying words are to speak mindfully and use shorter sentences.
Also, avoid looking around and getting distracted while talking. Think before you speak!
3.) “I don’t mean to bother you, but…”
Don’t preface a question with this statement!
When you say this, you are insinuating that you are an annoying distraction!
You are important and your question should be important too.
Treat yourself with respect and instead start your question with, “Excuse me, do you have a moment to discuss something?”
You are competent and worth answering! Don’t “sell yourself short” with a weak starter.
Related Article: 7 Ways To Build Your Confidence In Your Twenties
4.) “I just wanted to say…”
These are obvious filler words leading up to the important thing you need to say.
What these “filler words” do is diminish the importance of what you wanted to say.
Being more direct will make you look a lot more professional and direct!
Incorrect Example: “Jennifer, I just wanted to say I’m sorry.”
Correct Example: “Jennifer, I apologize for saying those hurtful things.”
Being direct and stating your point clearly makes you look more confident and sincere!
5.) “As a matter of fact…”
Let’s just be real – this statement just makes you sound like you are trying too hard!
These long-winded expressions can make you look pretentious and over-the-top!
Instead, just use the word “actually” because it makes you sound perfectly normal.
6.) “I’m sorry”
Why are you apologizing?
Was something completely your fault? Are you really sorry for something you did?
Get this annoying habit out of your life! You don’t need to apologize for doing something that is completely normal and acceptable!
Stop being sorry for not agreeing with someone.
Don’t apologize when you want to get someone’s attention. “I’m sorry, but can I ask you something?”
Stop apologizing for not being able to do something someone asked you to do! They were asking YOU for a favor!
Instead say, “Excuse Me” or simply state what you wanted to say without prefacing it with an apology.
Related Article: 9 Easy Ways Women Can Project Confidence
7.) “I don’t know”
This phrase is a big no-no – especially in a professional workplace capacity!
This statement immediately makes you look unconfident and incompetent.
It’s OK to admit that you don’t know something, but it should always be done in a way that shows that you are helpful and knowledgeable.
“At the moment I do not have the answer, but I will get back with you.”
“The person who can answer that question is XYZ.”
Being genuinely helpful and resourceful can take you a long way in life!
“Do you guys want to meet up for lunch?”
In “normal life”, this may be completely acceptable. But in a professional setting, ditch the word “guys”!
Instead, use words like “team” or “everyone”.
Simple references like this can go a long way to help you establish your seniority and credibility.
9.) “What works for you?”
I know you want to be considerate of everyone around you!
But when you are trying to schedule something, don’t ask this question!
Why? Because it is inconvenient to both of you and it makes you look indecisive.
Already have a plan in place. Ask them if they are available for a specific time and place.
This will cut-down on the back-and-forth emails and possible frustration.
Put the ball in the other person’s court in a specific way that is convenient for both of you! You’ll probably get a quicker response, too.
Related Article: 7 Ways to Really Connect with People at Social Gatherings
10.) “Personally, I believe…”
Let’s be honest, does anyone really care what you personally believe?
Don’t say this unless you a deeply respected, famous, or experienced person on the current topic of conversation?
If not, people will “check out” of the conversation and/or start to see you as an self-absorbed person.
Stating what you personally think doesn’t make you look confident unless it is based on FACTS and EXPERIENCE.
Instead, say, “Have you ever considered…”
You’ll be able to convey your own personal thoughts much better if you don’t make it about yourself.
11.) “This might sound stupid/weird…”
Already, you are setting yourself up for failure! You are discrediting yourself!
If you have a thought or idea, you should want other people to love it as much as you do. It’s not stupid or silly unless you make it that way.
Be confident and enthusiastic and get this negative statement out of your vocabulary.
12.) “Does that make sense?”
Act like everything that comes out of your mouth makes perfect sense!
If you are going to be in a situation where you NEED to convey your thoughts or ideas, practice! You want your thoughts to be concise and understandable.
However, once you are in front of a group of people, your boss, colleagues, client, or peers, you don’t need to ask this question!
This will make you look and feel less confident!
Instead, end the conversation with, “How do you feel about this topic?” or “I look forward to hearing your thoughts on this.”
BOOM – a confident closer!
13.) “Would you by any chance…”
Don’t make your requests wordy!
Being long-winded with your questions will actually make people turn you down a lot more!
Even though you may be worried about being annoying or too demanding, this statement just makes you look like you are nervous leading up to the request.
Be upfront and state your thoughts in a concise manner.
Being straightforward is actually a lot more kind because you are respecting both of your time!
14.) “I’m not a pro, but…”
If someone is asking you something, don’t downgrade your thoughts or experience!
They asked you for a reason! Right now, you are the pro!
Putting a negative spin on your answer will destroy your credibility and make you look unconfident in your answer.
Related Article: 9 Easy Ways Women Can Project Confidence
15.) “I’ll Try To”
If you are not 100% able to commit your time or effort to something, be up-front and honest!
If someone asks you to do something that you don’t have time for, immediately decline their request.
If you are not sure whether you can attend something or not, let them know that you will get back with them with a definite answer shortly.
Get the word “try” out of your vocabulary when referring to something that you can or can’t accomplish!
Instead, use words that convey action-oriented confidence – words like “will” and “can.”
You want people to be able to count on your word – because you are confident in your answer.
- 9 Easy Ways Women Can Project Confidence
- 7 Ways To Build Your Confidence In Your Twenties
- 7 Things Confident Women Do Differently In Relationships