We all feel the pressure of wanting to be liked!
In today’s society, people’s perception of you are shaped through the way you portrait yourself in person and on social media.
Of course, always remember that being “liked” is NOT the most important thing in life. To accomplish great things, you may have to walk alone once in a while, without the approval of others.
As former British Prime Minister, Margaret Thatcher said, “If you just set out to be liked, you will be prepared to compromise on anything at anytime, and would achieve nothing.”
However, there are always situations where you NEED the approval of others and you must come across as genuine and likable.
In your attempt to “just be yourself” and be “honest & genuine”, you may find yourself coming across as rude, unsympathetic, and even unapproachable.
Although you may have good intentions, you may find yourself upsetting and alienating yourself from other people.
Learning to navigate social situations is an important part of life! It is professional and very important quality to possess.
Below are 7 things you might be doing that make you less likable!
1.) You “Over-Share” Information Too Soon
You may feel like you are an open and genuine person! This is not a bad thing at all!
But when you share too much personal information too soon, it may actually push people away.
If you are an outgoing person, you may feel like you have a genuine connection with people before they have connected with you!
This leaves them in a position to be a bit confused why you are sharing so many personal things about yourself with them.
Some people may feel like you are a clingy person. Others may assume that you are maybe self-obsessed – always talking about yourself. And some may feel uncomfortable with you sharing such personal things about your life.
Sit down and rethink what your opening conversations will be. Even if you don’t feel like some things are “too personal” for you to share, evaluate what OTHER PEOPLE share with you.
Are there a few conversations that you should maybe put on hold until you know each other better?
2.) You Hide Your Nervousness/Awkwardness By Seeming Stand-Offish
Maybe you are NOT a people-person!
Do you secretly hate large get-togethers? Do you dread going to group events or meeting a bunch of new people?
If you find yourself in these situations, do you try to find a place where you can sit/stand alone? Do you try to make yourself look confident as you awkwardly stand off to the side, hoping no one will notice you?
This can actually make you look super stuck-up – like you are too good to mingle with everyone else. It may appear that you have no interest in meeting new people and can’t wait for the event to be over.
If you are one of these people who suffer with feeling nervous and awkward when meeting new people, make it a goal to try to approach several people and start a conversation. Yes, you might have to force yourself!
Getting out of your comfort zone can be very good for you! The more you do this, the easier these interactions will be.
Related Article: 9 Easy Ways Women Can Project Confidence
3.) You Don’t Ask People Questions About Themselves
We’ve all heard the Dale Carnegie saying, “Talk to someone about themselves and they’ll listen for hours.”
This statement is so true! Most people LOVE to talk about themselves.
If you are in a conversation with someone and they ask you a question about yourself, don’t just answer it and move on!
Answer their question and then ask them the same question back! Or ask them another interesting question about themselves.
Having an equal, two-way conversation is a very important part of being likable. It will make people feel like you are interested in them and not just out for #1!
If you ramble on and on about yourself, there is a 100% chance that you will be perceived as self-obsessed, vain, and boring!
People will start avoiding conversations with you and dreading future interactions.
Don’t be that person! Learning the art of a healthy, enjoyable two-way conversation will help you in your career and personal life!
Related Article: 7 Ways to Really Connect with People at Social Gatherings
4.) You Share A Lot About Your Life On Social Media
Social media is fun! We all love to stay up-to-date on each other’s lives.
But if you are “over-active” on social media and constantly sharing pictures or stories about your life, you may start to seem unrelatable.
Even if it isn’t true, many “over-sharers” are seen as self-obsessed and egotistical – always sharing the highlight reel of their daily life!
If that is you, what should you do about it?
You can either forget the “haters” and keep on sharing like normal or you can be more selective of what you post and how often you do so!
Maybe just post one photo of your hike with friends or laying on the beach during vacation. Or don’t post at all for a while.
Focus on being present in your life and spending time with yourself and family/friends. You might get addicted to staying off social media longer!
5.) You Tend To Talk About the Negative Part of Life
We know you just want to be real! There are a lot of negative things that happen in life!
But when you are getting to know someone, don’t go there!
It is OK to talk negatively once in a while. It makes you more relatable.
But if you make a habit of talking this way, you WILL become known as a complaining, trash-talking, and pessimistic person.
The majority of people would prefer to be around a positive, uplifting person!
Being negative all the time will alienate you from a lot of people – because life is already tough enough without talking to someone who brings down the entire mood of the room.
Don’t be the wet blanket of the party! People will gravitate AWAY from you.
Try to be the person that finds a way to be positive! People will associate you with a positive feeling – resulting in you being likable.
Related Article: 9 Surprising Signs You’re a Negative Person
6.) You Are Always On Your Phone
…in line at the grocery store, at a restaurant, on the airplane, at the park, on lunch break, at your desk, in a business meeting, at church, during social events, etc.
Is your “go-to” move pulling out your phone and scrolling?
We live in a phone-obsessed and it is OUT OF CONTROL! It is also a major turn-off to other people – especially in a social setting.
If you get a text during a conversation, don’t pull out your phone. Don’t ever take your attention off the person you are talking to.
By doing this, you are letting them know that your phone is more important than them. This will definitely make you very unlikable!
Try to start forming the habit of staying OFF your phone. Instead, maybe read a book or force yourself to start talking to the person next to you.
Stop looking at a screen and look at the world around you! This will make you look like a much more considerate and likable person.
7.) You Don’t Make Other People Feel Special
Human beings LOVE connection!
They love being around people who make them feel valuable and unique!
Remember the last time you talked to someone that asked you engaging questions and actively listened to you! They asked you follow-up questions, took an interest in YOU, and shared a similar sense of humor.
They drew you in with their kindness, honest opinion, active listening, and ability to find things in common.
This is a priceless quality to have! It can create connections with other people and make you an incredibly likable person!
When you are talking to someone, take a genuine interest in THEM! Make eye contact, listen to their stories, and ask them questions.
If you talk about yourself, make it relatively brief and applicable to the conversation. Then, steer the conversation back to them. This will make them feel important and appreciated.
- 7 Ways to Really Connect with People at Social Gatherings
- 15 Statements That Scream “Lack of Confidence!”
- 25 Amazing Habits for a Happier & Healthier Life