Have you lived your life struggling with self-confidence and deep insecurities?
These feelings of low self-esteem have the ability to ruin what should have been exciting moments of your life!
Confidence is something that takes time and practice! Yes, you have to practice!
If you learn it while you are young, it can change the rest of your life for the better.
Here are 7 “real life” ways to build your confidence in your twenties.
1.) SURROUND YOURSELF WITH VERY SPECIFIC PEOPLE
If the people closest to you are inciting feelings of self-doubt, discouragement, and negativity in your life – why would you ever expect to be able to pull yourself out of “the pit of low self-esteem”?
Look around you and evaluate who your closest friends and family are? Who do you surround yourself with on a daily basis?
Now CLEAN HOUSE!
This doesn’t mean to cut off people just because they aren’t encouraging to you.
However, this does mean to put up a barrier between you.
Don’t ask them for life advice. Stop confiding in them about your personal life. Don’t go to them when you need emotional support.
Be very selective of the people you allow into your “inner circle”. Make sure they are honest, focused, goal-oriented, supportive, trustworthy, and even confident!
You can still be friendly to everyone, while not allowing them to influence your life – and your journey towards self-confidence.
2.) LESS PROCRASTINATING – MORE DOING
Do you have dreams and goals that you have been talking about for years?
Are there passions that you have always dreamed of trying, but have never got around to it.
Life will always be “too busy” if you allow it to be! You can always find time to do the things that are important to you.
Start putting your “goals” on the to-do list!
By never accomplishing any of your personal goals, you are self-sabotaging your life.
“I could have been amazing at it, if I had been given the opportunity.
“If I had had the time, I would have loved to XYZ.”
“If I was younger, I would give it a try.”
There will always be an excuse if you make one up! You’ll always live your life feeling sorry for yourself because you never “got around to it”.
Pursuing a goal and finding out you are actually good at something is a HUGE confidence booster!
Stop dreaming and start doing! It is also amazing for your mental health to have a relaxing and enjoyable hobby.
3.) FOCUS ON HEALTH – NOT APPEARANCE
Every single one of us is aging, whether we like it or not!
Regardless of how much work we put into our appearance, our skin will still wrinkle and our butts will start to sag.
If your self-esteem is connected to your appearance, you are in a losing battle!
Try to change your focus from your outward appearance to your health!
If your scale makes you feel bad about yourself or your bedroom mirror makes you want to cry, get rid of them.
No one can criticize and judge you like yourself!
If necessary, get a personal trainer or a nutritionist to help you understand what your body needs for exercise and healthy eating.
Your health plays a huge roll in self-confidence. When you get the proper amount of exercise and nutrition, your mental health is impacted for the better.
4.) STOP BEING SO JUDGMENTAL OF OTHERS
Talking negatively about other people does NOT make you feel better about yourself.
It actually makes you feel a lot worse because it is impacting how you see the world around you.
“Trash talking” other people is actually a character flaw of deeply insecure people.
Those who choose to talk positively about those around them appear more confident and sincere.
If you find that you are always talking negatively about people to your friends and family OR you have constant negative thoughts about others, start working on it asap.
If you feel a negative comment coming, bite your tongue! It is so hard to break this bad habit, but it will have positive implications in your life!
Choose to only talk about the positives in people.
This doesn’t mean that you are oblivious to the downfalls of others. It means that you are working on only allowing positive language in your life.
Positive people attract positivity. Negative people attract negativity. Which do you choose?
5.) STOP ONLY FOCUSING ON YOURSELF
We live in a world that is focused on self-acceptance, self-love, self-importance, self-confidence, etc.
Even this article is focused on SELF!
But only focusing on yourself will only leave you with one person – YOU!
Helping others enables you to forget about yourself for one moment and focus on someone else who is in need of something we already have.
Perhaps you have time, money, or a certain set of skills to offer.
We could spend all day focusing on our own weaknesses – when we have the ability to give so much to those who have less than us!
Take some time to focus on OTHERS! Volunteering your time and energy to help others is an amazing way to help yourself (not in a selfish way).
Bringing a smile to someone else’s face does wonders for the soul and can help you feel valuable and needed in a world that promotes selfishness.
6.) EMBRACE PRIVACY
We live in a world where “being open and honest” is heavily promoted!
But what happened to being private and selective of who you give out personal information to?
Maybe you don’t want to tell everyone about your anxiety and depression.
Perhaps you would prefer not to share your life on social media.
Maybe you don’t like being asked personal questions about your life.
Guess what! You don’t need to answer any personal questions, have social media, or share any personal details about yourself!
For some people, openness makes them feel empowered. For others, it makes them feel exposed and anxious.
In many ways, privacy is power. It can improve your confidence and impact your mental health for the better.
Learn which kind of person you are. Go in whichever directions makes you feel empowered and confident.
7.) REMIND YOURSELF THAT FAILURE IS A NORMAL PART OF LIFE
You are young and you have your whole life ahead of you.
Failure is a very normal part of growth and self-improvement.
If you allow a few failures to dictate the rest of your life, you will be sorely disappointed!
Or, if you allow the FEAR of failure to stop you from taking a risk and trying something new, you will never accomplish anything you are truly proud of!
You’ll make mistakes, fall flat on your face, disappoint yourself, disappoint others, lose some friends, make some new ones, and then fail again!
It’s a completely normal part of life that everyone has to go through it!
But failure also brings experience. And learning from your mistakes is the best way to get ahead.
The sooner you learn this lesson and accept that failure can be healthy, the more confident you will be.
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