Are you looking for a relationship or are you in a relationship, but suffering from anxiety?
An anxiety disorder is characterized by feelings of doubt, inadequacy, and fear.
When these feelings are brought into a relationship, it can make things far more difficult than they usually are.
These feelings can turn into genuine concern, creating overwhelming doubts about situations that aren’t a big deal.
These doubts can then turn into disagreements and arguments because something was over-thought and perhaps blown out of proportion.
While this is NOT your fault, you do need to acknowledged that your anxiety may have a negative effect on your relationship.
If this is true for you, seek help from a therapist or a relationship counselor. A healthier mindset will do you a world of good!
Below are 9 common relationship mistakes someone might make if they have anxiety.
1.) Overthinking Every Single Situation
Do you find yourself overthinking everything about your relationship?
The text they sent you. The look they gave you at dinner. The comment they made last night. The long pause between texts. The sudden change in plans.
Do you spend hours upon hours thinking back through conversations and reading over messages they sent you?
STOP DOING THIS!
If you allow your mind to overthink situations, it will ruin your peace of mind and happiness.
Unless your partner said it directly to you, don’t let your mind convince you otherwise.
If you are deeply concerned about something, talk to your partner! It’s the only way to get the correct and honest answer.
2.) Getting Offended Easily
Do you secretly take things really personally (even if you don’t show it on the outside)?
It is way to easy for anxious people to jump to conclusions way too quickly and assume the worst!
Maybe you are a tender soul who doesn’t enjoy sarcastic humor or being the brunt of a joke. Or maybe you take things too seriously!
If certain things bother you, you absolutely need to tell your partner that their comments or jokes hurt you.
Sure, maybe you can learn to toughen up and stop jumping to the conclusion that they meant to offend you!
But, in the end, communication is key and you need to talk it through with your partner.
3.) Getting Stuck In Patterns – “Same Old, Same Old”
You need to try to keep things FRESH and ALIVE in your relationship.
This takes focused effort and a willingness to try new things.
If you have anxiety, it may be difficult for you to try new things and take a couple risks!
You find a calm in going to the same places, keeping the same patterns, and doing the same things over and over again.
Remember back in the beginning of your relationship where you had to step out of your comfort zone and do a few new things? You need to keep this up!
Don’t let your anxiety control your relationship! It is healthy to keep things new and fun.
It will make your love life a lot happier and healthier.
4.) Not Being Present In The Moment
Your mind is always ON and it is difficult to quiet all the thoughts that are surging through your brain!
Some days are worse than others, but it is sometimes very evident that you are not fully present.
This may leave your partner feeling neglected, unheard, and alone.
If anxiety is a part of your life, you need to make a serious effort to show your partner that you are PRESENT when you are together.
If necessary, go to therapy or see a relationship counselor.
You can have a healthy and happy relationship if you can learn to cope with your anxiety and be truly connected in your daily life together.
Related Article: 15 Simple Gestures That Make Men Feel Loved
5.) Battling Major Insecurity
Anxiety can make you doubt yourself like nothing else!
“Maybe I’m not good enough for them!”
“What if they aren’t really in love with me? Is there someone else?”
“She is way more beautiful than me? Maybe he would prefer to be with her?”
Most people feel slightly insecure in the beginning stages of their relationship. But anxiety can make your insecurity skyrocket!
Just like point #1, you start overthinking situations and doubting your self-worth.
You seem to forget that YOU ARE VALUABLE! They love being with you for a reason! There is no one like you!
Talk to a friend and have them give you a reality check. Better yet, talk to your partner and let them know about your insecurity.
They’ll make sure that you are very aware of their unwavering affection for you, insecurity and all!
6.) Becoming Controlling
If you allow your insecurity and overthinking to get the better of you, you may start to allow controlling behavior into your relationship.
“You’re giving me anxiety! Where are you?”
“Why didn’t you call me! My anxiety is through the roof!”
“If you do that, I’ll get anxious. Just don’t.”
Don’t allow your anxiety to take control of your relationship like this! You are bigger than it!
If it becomes more and more of a problem, you will start looking very controlling, manipulative, and victimizing.
Go to therapy if you see these tendencies in yourself!
You will learn healthy ways to calm your anxiety and communicate with your partner.
Related Article: 9 Signs He is Trying to Change You
7.) Appearing Needy
A common symptom of anxiety is the constant need for validation.
Because you constantly question yourself, you find yourself asking for advice and the opinions of others – often!
If you are in a new relationship, this can make you look very high-maintenance and needy.
In the beginning, don’t over-load them! Be honest, but don’t self-sabotage the relationship by looking needy and self-obsessed.
Over time, you can trust them more with your feelings and thoughts.
8.) Unloading Your Stress Onto Your Partner – All The Time
…vent, vent, vent!
It’s been a rough day and your anxiety is acting up! You need to let off some steam!
It’s OK to talk to your partner about your stress and anxiety, but if almost every interaction is about this, you are going to ruin your relationship.
Especially if it in it’s beginning stages. You can’t overwhelm your partner with negativity.
As your relationship progresses, there will be a deeper bond and a better understanding of who you are and how you can cope!
Yes, it is very hard to focus on the sunny side of life when you are stressed out, but you need to learn to cope with your anxiety in a more healthy way than this!
GO TO THERAPY!
9.) Being Passive Aggressive
Mood swings can happen – especially when your anxiety is acting up!
If you’re feeling irritable and your partner does something that annoys you, it is so easy to respond in a passive aggressive manner!
This leaves your partner feeling resentful, hurt, and taken for granted.
Your words have power and the ability to destroy your romantic relationship.
Your partner can KNOW you have an anxiety disorder, but if you aren’t making any effort to learn to cope with it the right way, it can become a major source of contention.
Your anxiety may seem crippling to you, but are you actively taking steps to improve your mental health?
Have you gone to a therapist? Are you in a self-help group? Have you connected with people who can help you?
Professional help can do a world of good for your mental health (and your partner’s mental health).