Everyone knows someone who is a negative person.
They may call themselves “realists” or claim that they are just being honest, however they always bring down the mood in every room they enter.
Is this you? Do you find yourself always being cynical, even when you feel like you are in a good mood?
You must realize that very few people truly want to have ‘mood killers’ in their life!
You have to accurately identify this character trait in your life and learn how to focus on the positive, while maintaining a sense of reality.
Below are 9 surprising signs that you may be a negative person.
1.) Your Automatic Thoughts Are Always Negative
Scenario #1: A friend contacts you.
Your Response: “Oh great! What do they want this time?”
Scenario #2: You find out a friend got engaged.
Your Response: “Well, I hope it lasts! I give it 2 years.”
Scenario #3: Something amazing happens in your life!
Your Response: “I wonder when this is going to end. Good things never last long.”
Do you find that your internal dialogue is almost ALWAYS pessimistic?
Maybe you find yourself sighing for no reason – except for the fact that you are almost always thinking negative thoughts.
Your automatic thoughts often reflect how you see yourself! Do you think of yourself in a positive way or are you always tearing yourself down?
In return, these feelings are reflected in your everyday life and how you see those around you.
Take care of yourself and find ways to feel confident in yourself.
2.) You Are Skillfully Sarcastic
Although sarcasm can be witty and fun, it can also be a form of misguided negativity!
Only you can truly know if your use of sarcasm can actually bring down your mood and create a cynical atmosphere in your conversation.
If your sarcasm turns into rude comments and mockery, you may be coming across as highly negative and toxic.
Be careful to not over-use your ‘special gift’ and try to focus on the positives.
Give genuine compliments and don’t always follow-up with a little side comment (sarcasm).
When used incorrectly, sarcasm can come across in a very wrong way to those around you!
3.) You Are Bad At Accepting Compliments
Surprisingly, this does not always mean that you are shy or modest.
It can also mean that you have a negative attitude about yourself.
When someone gives you a compliment, do you make a joke about it or blow it off with a lame excuse?
“Oh, you like my hair? But it looks awful today and it took me 5 seconds to throw up!”
“You are just being nice. I know my food usually tastes awful.”
Trying to be overly modest can look an awful lot like negativity to people around you.
Learn to say, “Thank-you! I really appreciate that!”
Also, sometimes it is OK to brag about your hard work!
“Thank-you! It has taken so much hard work, but I love every second of it.”
Accept compliments with grace and appreciation. Let them be a mood-booster and stop squashing them!
4.) You Overuse the Word ‘But’
“That is so nice of her, but…”
“Oh, today was so much fun, but…”
Do you finish a positive remark with the word ‘but’? This turns your positive comment into a negative one!
You can find something wrong with every single thing in your life!
Throw this nasty little word out of your vocabulary for a little while.
Practice not using it!
Let a positive comment remain a positive comment.
The people closest to you will notice this lovely, optimistic change in you!
5.) You Don’t Really Have Any Amazing Life Goals
When you have goals and exciting plans, it is hard not to be excited and positive!
If your life lacks goals, you may have become a negative person without even realizing it.
At the end of the day, you find yourself sitting at home thinking negative thoughts about your life.
A lack of life goals is a double edged sword.
Why? Because a lack of goals causes negativity. And negativity gives you a dim view of the future.
You need to take control of your life and get some initiative!
Explore new skills and challenge yourself to do something you have always been interested in!
Example: Have you always wanted to learn photography? There are dozens of courses online!
Sit down and evaluate your life. What is it that you have always wanted to accomplish, but have just never done.
Sometimes, you need to take a leap outside of your negative little bubble and create some life goals.
In return, you will get some joy back into your life!
6.) You Focus on the Problem, Not the Solution
You could complain all day about the problems in your life.
But when it comes to finding a way to solve the problem, you aren’t anywhere to be found!
I get it – most people need to talk through their problems. And sometimes, the solution is having someone patiently listen to your concerns.
However, most of life’s problems need a solution. And when you ignore the solution, negativity is always the result!
If you are in a relationship, this habit is probably a glaringly evident problem to your partner.
When you have problems in your relationship, you are amazing at pointing them out, but not finding a way to work them through.
Next time you have a big complaint, make the effort to think, “How will I get through this? What is a healthy solution to this life issue?”
Seek advice from people that you trust.
Focus on being a problem-solver, even if it does not come naturally. You may find that your negativity will subside!
7.) The Past Dictates your Future
Yes! The past has a huge effect on who you are now.
It can define much of your character and mold your strengths and weaknesses. (Although you can work on changing these later on.)
But it should not dictate how you are going to live the rest of your life!
If the past is full of painful memories, you cannot allow those negative thoughts to overwhelm your mind.
Otherwise, you will severely limit yourself – never opening yourself up to experience new things and broadening your horizons.
If necessary, perhaps you need to remove some toxic people from your life.
Perhaps you need to go to therapy and receive some professional advice on how to move past the hurt in your life.
Whatever your past holds, you cannot ruminate on your own failures or the hurt from others.
Otherwise, you will get locked in the vicious cycle of unhappiness and negativity!
8.) You Worry – A Lot!
I understand that worry can be caused by a lot of things.
However, does it define much of your life?
As in, every moment of every day, you could be worrying about something!
Perhaps your worry is a side effect of being emotionally and physically exhausted?
Perhaps you suffer from anxiety – something many people experience, but never properly address.
Your worry can come across as being severely negative and pessimistic.
If you allow this to control your life, worry will become a defining point of who you are. It will slowly take over your life and become a negative part of your character.
Excessive worrying can actually turn you into a toxic person.
Learn what triggers your worry and find a way to work through these negative emotions.
Seek professional help if it has become an overwhelming part of your life.
9.) You Are Judgmental of Others
You know if you are judgmental or not! It is a defining part of your character.
If you are a negative person, you will probably find yourself being incredibly critical of others.
Is there a pattern of gossiping and tearing down other people behind their backs?
Do you make fun of how people look or what they post on social media?
Can you always find a way to twist a story or create drama out of nothing?
If this is the case, you probably have a hard time holding onto quality friends and creating successful relationships!
Being judgmental is a habit that you have created. But it is also a habit that only you can break!
If you focus on seeing the good qualities in others and not talking about people behind their backs, you will 100% see your relationships improve.
Negativity attracts negativity! And negative relationships are never healthy to be in.
If you see a pattern of negativity in your life, you need to make a conscious effort to start focusing on the positive.
Surround yourself with positive people – the kind of people that will have a positive influence on you.
In the end, the solution lies within you. Change can only happen if you are willing to commit to becoming a better person.